“Many people hear voices when no-one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up on rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.”
2008-11-16
2008-11-15
persona=mask
The word "Person" comes from "Persona" (latin) and "Persona" meaning mask, a mask that we have to wear sometimes in society. Sometimes we have to be political, we have to use this persona.
The question is: Who are you? Who is your persona? Who do you think you are and what you are forced to do to behave so you can survive in the society.
2008-11-12
nesaprotam?!
Nekad nespēšu saprast, kāpēc vīriešiem un sievietēm ir tik dažāda izpratne par seksu. Venera, Marss — nekad nesapratīšu… Kāpēc vīriešiem lēmumu pieņemšana un lietu izpratne iet caur smadzenēm, bet sievietēm — caur sirdi?
Viss notika tā. Pagājušo nedēļu kādu vakaru, liekoties ar sievu gulēt, es mēģināju viņai piebraukt, bet pēc pāris neveiksmīgiem mēģinājumiem izdzirdēju:
— Zini, man kaut kā negribas. Vienkārši kādu brīdi paturi mani savos apskāvienos.
— KO?
Un šajā vietā viņa pateica pašu briesmīgāko frāzi, kādu vīrietis var izdzirdēt no savas mīļotās sievas: — Nu, tiešām, mīļais. Man liekas, ka tu vienkārši nespēj izprast manas sievišķīgās emocionālās vajadzības.
Citiem vārdiem sakot, tovakar mums nekas nesanāca un mēs vienkārši aizmigām.
Nākamajā dienā devāmies iepirkties uz kādu pazīstamu vietu, kuru es saucu par GIV (gigantiska iepirkšanās vieta).
Mēs staigājām pa dažādām nodaļām, viņa uzlaikoja trīs nejēdzīgi dārgus vakartērpus, bet nevarēja izšķirties, kurš viņai vislabāk piestāv. Es ieteicu ņemt visus trīs. Pēc tam viņa devās meklēt kurpes, kuras piestāvētu šiem vakartērpiem, un es viņai piedāvāju paņemt pa vienam kurpju pārim pie katra tērpa. Pa ceļam uz kasi mums gadījās juvelierizstrādājumu nodaļa, un viņa izvēlējās sev pārīti auskaru ar briljantiem.
Ziniet… es viņu sen nebiju redzējis tik uzbudinātu. Acīm redzot, viņa bija nolēmusi, ka esmu nojūdzies. Viņa pajautāja: kā būtu ar to tenisa aproci? Bet es taču lieliski zinu, ka viņa savu mūžu nav turējusi rokās tenisa raketi! Tomēr es arī tam piekritu.
Viņa vai spiedza no sajūsmas, gandarījums viņai bija tikpat kā fiziski seksuāls. Jums bija jāredz, kā staroja viņas seja, kad viņa izdvesa: — Nu, mīļais, man šķiet, ka tas ir viss. Varam doties uz kasi.
Es viņai uzspēlētā mierā atbildēju:
— Nē, mīļā, man kaut kā — negribas…
Jūs zināt, ko nozīmē izteiciens «pilnīgā neģīmī»? Visa šī emociju gamma — neizpratne, sarūgtinājums, sašutums, naids — vienlaikus uzplaiksnīja manas mīļotās sejā.
— Nu, tiešām, mīļā. Es vienkārši gribu, lai tu to visu kādu brīdi paturētu savos apskāvienos, un tas ir viss.
Un, kad viņa jau bija gatava mesties man virsū un saplosīt smalkos gabaliņos, es piebildu:
— Man liekas, ka tu vienkārši nespēj izprast manas vīrieša finanšu iespējas…
Tā ka tagad apmēram līdz 2010. gadam man sekss nespīd.
Viss notika tā. Pagājušo nedēļu kādu vakaru, liekoties ar sievu gulēt, es mēģināju viņai piebraukt, bet pēc pāris neveiksmīgiem mēģinājumiem izdzirdēju:
— Zini, man kaut kā negribas. Vienkārši kādu brīdi paturi mani savos apskāvienos.
— KO?
Un šajā vietā viņa pateica pašu briesmīgāko frāzi, kādu vīrietis var izdzirdēt no savas mīļotās sievas: — Nu, tiešām, mīļais. Man liekas, ka tu vienkārši nespēj izprast manas sievišķīgās emocionālās vajadzības.
Citiem vārdiem sakot, tovakar mums nekas nesanāca un mēs vienkārši aizmigām.
Nākamajā dienā devāmies iepirkties uz kādu pazīstamu vietu, kuru es saucu par GIV (gigantiska iepirkšanās vieta).
Mēs staigājām pa dažādām nodaļām, viņa uzlaikoja trīs nejēdzīgi dārgus vakartērpus, bet nevarēja izšķirties, kurš viņai vislabāk piestāv. Es ieteicu ņemt visus trīs. Pēc tam viņa devās meklēt kurpes, kuras piestāvētu šiem vakartērpiem, un es viņai piedāvāju paņemt pa vienam kurpju pārim pie katra tērpa. Pa ceļam uz kasi mums gadījās juvelierizstrādājumu nodaļa, un viņa izvēlējās sev pārīti auskaru ar briljantiem.
Ziniet… es viņu sen nebiju redzējis tik uzbudinātu. Acīm redzot, viņa bija nolēmusi, ka esmu nojūdzies. Viņa pajautāja: kā būtu ar to tenisa aproci? Bet es taču lieliski zinu, ka viņa savu mūžu nav turējusi rokās tenisa raketi! Tomēr es arī tam piekritu.
Viņa vai spiedza no sajūsmas, gandarījums viņai bija tikpat kā fiziski seksuāls. Jums bija jāredz, kā staroja viņas seja, kad viņa izdvesa: — Nu, mīļais, man šķiet, ka tas ir viss. Varam doties uz kasi.
Es viņai uzspēlētā mierā atbildēju:
— Nē, mīļā, man kaut kā — negribas…
Jūs zināt, ko nozīmē izteiciens «pilnīgā neģīmī»? Visa šī emociju gamma — neizpratne, sarūgtinājums, sašutums, naids — vienlaikus uzplaiksnīja manas mīļotās sejā.
— Nu, tiešām, mīļā. Es vienkārši gribu, lai tu to visu kādu brīdi paturētu savos apskāvienos, un tas ir viss.
Un, kad viņa jau bija gatava mesties man virsū un saplosīt smalkos gabaliņos, es piebildu:
— Man liekas, ka tu vienkārši nespēj izprast manas vīrieša finanšu iespējas…
Tā ka tagad apmēram līdz 2010. gadam man sekss nespīd.
2008-11-11
No Excuses!
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,
shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,
shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
Children's Proverbs
Children's Proverbs
Joke submitted by: Beamer
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:
People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.
Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the . . . bug is close.
It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of . . . termites.
You can lead a horse to water but . . . how?
Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.
No news is . . . impossible.
A miss is as good as a . . . Mr.
You can't teach an old dog . . . math.
If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust . . . me.
The pen is mightier than . . . the pigs.
An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there is . . . pollution.
Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.
A penny saved is . . . not much.
Two is company, three is . . . The Musketeers.
None are so blind as . . . Helen Keller.
Children should be seen and not . . . spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.
You get out of something what you . . . see pictured on the box.
When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.
There is no fool like . . . Aunt Edie.
Joke submitted by: Beamer
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:
People in glass houses shouldn't . . . run around naked.
Better to be safe than . . . punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the . . . bug is close.
It's always darkest before . . . daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of . . . termites.
You can lead a horse to water but . . . how?
Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.
No news is . . . impossible.
A miss is as good as a . . . Mr.
You can't teach an old dog . . . math.
If you lie down with dogs, you . . . will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust . . . me.
The pen is mightier than . . . the pigs.
An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there is . . . pollution.
Happy is the bride who . . . gets all the presents.
A penny saved is . . . not much.
Two is company, three is . . . The Musketeers.
None are so blind as . . . Helen Keller.
Children should be seen and not . . . spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.
You get out of something what you . . . see pictured on the box.
When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.
There is no fool like . . . Aunt Edie.
2008-11-10
Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?
Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?
Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering
Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on
final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"
In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam
paper contained the question:
"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or
similar. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With
the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass
of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan
during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;
...... thus, Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering
Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on
final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"
In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam
paper contained the question:
"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or
similar. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate
are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think
we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With
the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass
of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan
during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;
...... thus, Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
2008-11-09
paklusēt
-Kas tev? – viņa pajautāja.
-Ar tevi kopā interesanti paklusēt.
-Bet sarunāties?
-Sarunāties arī, bet reti ar kuru ir interesanti kopā paklusēt.
viņš pasmaidīja.
-Ar tevi kopā interesanti paklusēt.
-Bet sarunāties?
-Sarunāties arī, bet reti ar kuru ir interesanti kopā paklusēt.
viņš pasmaidīja.
2008-11-06
Lebanon to Obama: Make the Right Decisions!
| Lebanon to Obama: Make the Right Decisions! | |||||||||||||
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05/11/2008 Just like the whole world, Lebanon hailed on Wednesday the election of Barack Obama as US President, hoping the world could witness stability and peace during his period of rule. | |||||||||||||
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2008-11-03
Strange Questions from Lawyers
* You were there until the time you left, is that true?
* The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
* Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
* Did he kill you?
* How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
* Were you present when your picture was taken?
* Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
* Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
* How many times have you committed suicide?
* Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Lawyer:. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
Lawyer: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
* The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
* Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
* Did he kill you?
* How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
* Were you present when your picture was taken?
* Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
* Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
* How many times have you committed suicide?
* Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
Lawyer:. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
Lawyer: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
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