welcome to hell

in couple steps of heart-attack - physical heartache constantly, insomnia and loss of appetite. plus have dilated pupils and palpitation.
well.. i`ve earned that.some coffee cups and direct one-way ticket on painful road to hell.

i hate myself

all physical heartache, all dullness and strong pain in head, all whirlpool and pain in stomach, all sleepless nights...... i`ve earned that all!
standing on chippings whats left of my world. nothing else matters.
to jump or not to?!

once again you and me... eventhough i`ve done awful things i still believe in this!

i know that we havent choosed the easiest way. its hard to be that far and live in different countries. its hard to go and live together somewhere, coz there are many things that we wud need to overcome. *love is not enough*! ofcourse nothing will happen on its own, we will need to work for that. and maybe work alot! but im sure that we can manage that! im sure about that! it wasnt our choice to fall in love with each other and discover that we are the other part of each other. that was fate! nobody told or promised us that it will be easy! but it will worth every thing we`ll make! future makes me afraid abit too! i dont know how we`ll manage all things, i dont know where and how to find a new job in some other country, how to get education and such things. i dont know that. and as every normal person im afraid of things i dont know. but im ready to fight! im ready to go for you no matter where! coz i wana be with you and i wana make you most happy man on the earth! and i know that you would make me most happy woman on whole planet! i just know that!
i felt that many times and very strongly few weeks ago!
we both are from fighters. and together we can win this fight! i`ll pray that we would have enough power, strength, hope and love to win the fight!
just believe! believe that we can everything together! coz we really really can! nothin can stop us!
we just need to believe and dream! its hard to make your dreams come true, but its not impossible! i love you! and you love me! i saw that in your eyes and felt in touch of your hand!
im not going to give up! there is no way back! there is just way in front of us!
i adore you!