funny quotes

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.

It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am, but I'm going really fast.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

quote pages

http://www.quotationspage.com/
http://www.quoteland.com/
http://www.quotationreference.com/
http://www.quotelady.com/
http://www.great-quotes.com/
http://quotations.about.com/
http://www.bartleby.com/100/
http://www.planware.org/quotes.htm
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/currentevents/a/katrinaquotes.htm
http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~robins/quotes.html
http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/
http://www.careerlab.com/comments.htm
http://www.paralumun.com/zenquotes.htm

keep it simple

"Worried you're not using the right words? Use simpler words. Worried that your sentence isn't clear? Make a simpler sentence. Worried that people won't see your point? Make your point simpler. Nearly every writing problem you have can be solved by making things simpler.

This should be obvious, but people don't like hearing it because there's the assumption that simple = stupid. But it's not true; indeed, I find from personal experience that the stupidest writers are the ones whose writing is positively baroque in form. All that compensating, you know. Besides, I'm not telling you to boil everything down to "see spot run" simplicity. I am telling you to make it so people can get what you're trying to say."

— John Scalzi

creative

"First because it is impossible that you have *no* creative gift. Second: the only way to make it live and increase is to use it. Third: you cannot be sure that it is not a *great* gift."

— Brenda Ueland

Laws of Simplicity

Presentations and the "Laws of Simplicity"

John Maeda's book, The Laws of Simplicity, is a good quick read. I love the clear presentation of the ideas in the book and the fact that the author imposed a limit of 100 pages for himself, an idea consistent with his Third Law: "Savings in time feels like simplicity." This book is not the final word on the topic of course, and in fact more is to come soon on the topic by MIT press. While the book is not perfect — the acronyms (SHE, SLIP, etc.) complicated things for me a bit — it is still better than most other books on simplicity aimed at business people. I must have three or four other thick business books on my shelf with the word "simplicity" in the title. Long winded, business books that espouse the need for simplicity today yet are filled with academic "blah, blah, blah" to get them to the obligatory length for a "serious business book." Maeda's book is different and it's fresh.

Much of the book's content can be found on Maeda's blog, The Laws of Simplicity. So if you want to save some money, it's basically all online. I think it was Seth Godin who said books are now a kind of "leave behind" for people once they have heard your story. People expect some sort of hard copy even if it is all online. If it is "your latest book" so much the better. There is just something about a book in the hand that is so much more "real" and "engaging" than the seemingly ephemeral text on a screen. My copy of Maeda's book (which I've read twice) is now rendered "very used" with folded page corners and pages filled with notes to myself, underlined passages, sketches, and even a coffee stain or two. (Yes, I know that this style of writing in books shocks some people, but at least it keeps them from borrowing my favorite books ). I'm buying several copies of The Laws of Simplicity and giving them to friends for Christmas. Its approachability and brevity make it a great gift for the busy entrepreneur.



Maeda organizes the book around what he calls the Ten Laws of Simplicity. I read each law with presentations in mind, but you can apply the laws to really any design problem or business or technology challenge. In future I'll discuss the first nine laws in the context of presentations, but for now I'll discuss only Maeda's tenth law which he calls "The One." If you can't remember the nine laws, Maeda suggests, then just remember the tenth law in the book's final chapter. The tenth law is meant to encapsulate the other nine. In this chapter Maeda talks about what he calls the "champagne approach" which lead to this single simplified expression, or the Tenth Law:

"Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious, and adding the meaningful."

The champagne approach: "Become like bubbles in a glass of champagne, floating upward in unexpected, elegantly fluid ways."
Maeda's "champagne approach" was inspired by the French rugby coach, Jean-Pierre Elissalde, who assessed that the Japanese national team (which he would coach), though technically solid, were too predictable. Their mechanical precision was too easy to anticipate and to stop. They needed to play on intuition and gut feel as much as calculated precision. Like the Japanese rugby team, we too need to become like bubbles in a glass of champagne, floating upward in unexpected, elegantly fluid ways. Learn to operate on intuition not just intellect. It is not just about mechanics and doing everything "technically correct." Doing it "by the book" or "by the numbers" is rarely a good approach in a live presentation, an activity which is very much a human one and requires a human touch.

Below are Maeda's three keys that comprise the Tenth Law.

Key 1: AWAY. More appears like less simply moving it far, far away.
Maeda refers to examples such as the simple Google homepage which of course sits atop a very complex network of computers and databases. For the end user Google is supremely simple, visually and otherwise. The result is local, Maeda says, and it's made simple by moving the actual work to a location far away. In the world of the 20-minute or even one-hour presentation, it is not possible to show or to talk about all of the background, all of the research, past failures, the reams of data, etc. that support your conclusion or have served as the antecedent to your current opinions about the issue you are today presenting. So, given time limits and the limits of the medium (an ephemeral live talk rather than material documentation in the form of a 400-page book), you state your case and give the appropriate evidence to support your story, but most of the background or details about that evidence are not introduced during your talk. This does not mean that those details are not important or that by removing it far away (figuratively) that you are embarking on a journey of superficiality. Many presenters fail because they did not first think hard about how and what to "remove far away."

If you try to tell them everything, you tell them nothing. I am not suggesting you water down your story to talking points and the repetition of simple statements for a mass audience, a technique favored by politicians and ad agencies pushing bubble gum and potato chips. Instead, by moving important material far away, for the moment, you can make your message more powerful. In the context of presentations, moving info away can help you and the audience see the forest for the trees.



Key 2: OPEN. Openness simplifies complexity.
"There are signs," says Maeda, "that a 'for free' open approach can lead to a 'for a fee' approach." If selling anything requires trust on the part of the buyer, it's odd that more organizations do not get that if you have an open approach and even "give it away" to some degree that this can lead to very good long-term benefits for both the organization and the customer. Maeda uses the example of the "Ruby on Rails" Web frame work by 37signals which is free but has related for-pay services. There is greater risk in an open approach -- whether we're talking about presentations or business in general -- but there is the possibility for greater reward as well. It's up to you. It's not easy and it has risks, risks too great for many perhaps. As Maeda points out, "I Love You" for example is perhaps the risky phrase of all, yet the rewards are immeasurable, are they not? An open approach to your presentations, or even to your approach to life in general, requires a belief in yourself (and your message, your mission, service, etc.) and the courage to muster up an equally risky phrase: "I Trust You."



Key 3: POWER. Use less, gain more.
Here Maeda is talking about power, energy, battery life, etc. However, the application of "Use less, gain more" can go beyond energy. One could apply it to any resource including time. Time in fact may be our most precious resource of all, now more than ever. There are many ways to look at time. Usually we think about time in terms of "How can I save more time?" Sure time is a constraint for us, but when planning a presentation, what if we took the notion of "time saving" and looked at it from the point of view of our audience instead of our own personal desires to do things more quickly and save time? What if it wasn't just about "our time" but it was about "their time"? When I am in the audience, I appreciate it so much when I am in the presence of a speaker who is dynamic, has done his homework, has prepared compelling visuals which add rather than bore, and generally makes me happy I have attended. What I hate more than anything — and I know you do too — is the feeling I get when I realize I am at the beginning of a wasted hour ahead of me.



But does your approach save time?
OK, so sometimes the approach I advocate may use more time not less time for you to prepare, but the time you are saving for your audience can be huge. Again, the question is: Is it always about saving time for ourselves? Is it not important to save time for others? When I save time for myself I am pleased. But when I save time for others by not only not wasting their time but instead by sharing something important to them, I feel inspired, energized, and rewarded. I can save time on the front end, but I may waste more time for others on the back end. For example, if I give a completely worthless one-hour long death-by-PPT presentation 10 times to groups averaging 20 people, that equals 200 hours of wasted time. But if I instead put in the time, say, 25 hours or more of planning and designing the message, slides, etc. over a couple of weeks, then I can instead *give* the world 200 hours of a worthwhile, memorable experience. Software companies advertise time-saving features which may help us believe we have saved time to complete a task such as preparing a presentation, but if time is not "saved" for the audience — if the audience wastes their time because we didn't prepare well, design the visuals well, or perform well — then what does it matter that we saved one-hour in preparing our slides?

One way I look at the spirit behind "Use less, gain more" is simply to "not waste," especially to not waste that which is not really mine to begin with such as other people's time. Preparing well can help make sure we do not waste the resource of other people's time. Another very simple way to "Use less, gain more" is to make certain our presentations or our pitches always end just a few minutes early.

Note: My wife took this snap of me in a downtown Osaka Starbucks yesterday with her mobile phone (which, by the way, is so complicated I have no idea how to use). Maeda's book is not meant to be the last word of simplicity or even to provide many etched-in-stone answers. Perhaps the odd look on my face proves that the book asks more questions than it answers...but that is not a bad thing at all. Especially while kicking back for a few hours in a café. I rather like questions.

Links
• Buy the book
• Jon Maeda's website
• The Laws of Simplicity website

http://lawsofsimplicity.com/?p=50

Интересные факты

• У людей самыми любимыми являются запахи свежего хлеба, свежескошенной травы и кофе.

• В Республике Папуа - Новая Гвинея, а именно на островах Адмиралтейства, проживает племя, которое называется Лохи.

• Величайшая по размерам из ныне известных звёзд, Аль-Анз (созвездие Возничий) по диаметру в 2700 раз больше Солнца. Внутри неё свободно уместились бы орбиты всех планет Солнечной системы от Меркурия до Сатурна включительно.

• Знаменитый режиссер Феллини прозвал назойливых фотографов «папарацци» в честь своего бывшего одноклассника Папарацци, человека наглого и совершенно бесцеремонного.

• Маленькое государство Сан-Марино считается самой старой республикой в мире и самым старым государством в Европе.

• Гарри Джексон, совершивший в начале XX века кражу в английском городке Денмарк-Хилл, попал в историю как первый преступник, опознанный по отпечаткам пальцев. А украл он не деньги, не драгоценности, не предметы искусства, а всего лишь биллиардные шары.

• Великий сюрреалист Сальвадор Дали в 1969 году создал эмблему в виде маргаритки для карамели "Чупа-Чупс".

• В Древней Руси на невесту надевали простой полотняный платок, которым наглухо закрывали все лицо - по старинному обычаю с момента ее согласия на брак ее считали как бы "умершей", и поэтому ее нельзя было никому видеть, а нарушение запрета могло привести к всевозможным несчастьям.

• Раньше Бангладеш был частью Пакистана, но после циклона и наводнения пакистанские власти отказались давать деньги на восстановление, и произошла революция, приведшая к выделению Бангладеша в самостоятельное государство.

• Когда-то словом «хобби» называлась особая порода низкорослых мохнатых лошадей, которую разводили ирландцы.

• Закон штата Флорида запрещает домохозяйкам разбивать более трех тарелок в день.

• Уран - единственная планета, спутники которой названы в честь героев Шекспира, а не античных богов.

(:

высшую степень я выбрал за норму

Dalai Lama insight

[20-05] There's no shop that sells kindness; you must build it within. You can transplant hearts, but you cannot transplant a warm heart.

[21-05] If a person has never encountered love towards himself or herself from any quarter, it is a very sad thing. But if that person who will show unconditional love - simply acceptance and compassion - if he knows that he is an object of someones else's affection and love, it is bound to have an impact, and this will be appreciated. Because there is a seed in himself, this act of love will start to catalyse or ripen that seed.

MOMENT

the moment wont pursue you. they`re out there. everywhere. in restaurants. and bedrooms. and forests. in castles and in grass huts and your brother`s house. you`ll find moments in places you`ve been to a thousand times and in strange places you can`t even pronounce. they`re in your hometown and foreign lands, on sidewalks and beaches and park benches. they`re out there, alright. just waiting for you. go find them. pursue the moment.

LIFE

people get old, but life doesnt. life never loses its ability to amaze. not when you`re interested. not when you`re curious. not when you`re enthusiastic and passionate and eager. not when you fill your passport with stamps and dance at every opportunity. not when you learn something new every day and laugh, laugh, laugh until it hurts. not when both feet are firmly planted in the present and your greatest obsession is living. and not when you are really, truly alive. pursue the moment.

sooooo cute

sms

Парень шлёт девушке СМС:
- "Этот абонент просит Вас выйти за него замуж".
Ответ:
- "Уважаемый абонент! На Вашем счёте недостаточно средств для данной операции".

alarm clocks

im glad that alarm clocks are mean and that they have no mercy! if they would have, i`d be late sooo many times. and guess many people would!
alarm wont look that you have slept just 3,5h or that you look soo cute when you sleep that it wont wana wake you up! it looks that its 8:30am, its time for you to get up and it will shout till you get out of bed no matter in what condition and mood.

6/8

cant understand how without real studying and preparing one can get 6/8!!!! sometimes i just wonder about myself! of course im happy about myself.. just its some kinda mystical thing...

*good job list*

it wasnt even a half day but in my *good job list* there were already some nice things i did to people around.
helping mom with little boy with finding and choosing ticket for 55year old man ticket to a concert. later making surgery for dinosaur [lol] and putting batteries inside :)
yeah.. and some other works that made people smile! :)
today feeling good [despite 3,5h sleeping] and with wish to make people little bit happier and put smiles on their faces!

as usually missing my angel..
life is wonderful!

Girls Aloud - Whole Lotta History

I can't talk, I've got the wrong way
Looking up what's falling down, yeah
I can't talk I've gone back the wrong way
What is the use in what I say?

I hear myself complain so I can do it again
Do it again
I give myself the blame so I get back up again
Get out of the rain

Baby, I miss you, so tell me
Is she really that beautiful? Woah
Each time she's kissed you, tell me
Is it that really that good for you?

Does she love you like I never could?
Hold you tender tell you everything's good? Woah
Would she hurt you? Cos I never could
Does she hold your body tight all night baby?

I'm talking bout a whole lotta history
I can't find a way to show what you mean to me
I've fallen all around when you miss me
I don't know what to do so tell me baby

Hello, did you call me?
I thought it didn't matter that you're gone
And I know, end of story
Now there's nothing but a shadow where my heart shone

I'm dammed if I do and I'm dammed and if I don't
But you cost me so much love, yeah
So finally I just decided to go
I know I've had enough, so tell me that you're not alone

I'm talking bout a whole lotta history
I can't find a way to show what you mean to me
I've fallen all around when you miss me
I don't know what to do so tell me baby

I'm talking bout a whole lotta history
I can't find a way to show what you mean to me
I've fallen all around when you miss me
I don't know what to do so tell me baby

And it keeps me spinning
And controls what happens to Monday, to Monday
And it might sound crazy
But your voice still leaves me all funky, all funky

And it keeps me spinning
And controls what happens to Monday, to Monday
And it might sound crazy
But your voice still leaves me all funky, all funky

[Fade]