curse

  there came event in my life which was crucial! it was a nuclear bomb on my soul.
  i had made that bomb myself. i had left it there. i wasnt proud of me and i tried to hide it. you..you just stepped on the trigger and it exploded. you got hurted too. but im the one whos guilty for everything that happened.
  it swept away all importance away from life, it burnt out all little and big goals of life, it killed everything that mattered and all the living. all it left is pain, unbearable pain and emptiness like atomic bomb leaves just ashes, burnt and distorted corpses and destruction.
  me = freezing. alone. hurting. destroyed.

my 7sein!

my love, i miss you soo much!

pointless

its soo awfully hard.. even impossible to survive whole year long when i know i`m not gonna be living even for a month when i see him.. why to drag that stupid life when all is lost?! whats the point?!

in memory of the sister of my special person

October is cancer month. In memory of every cancer patient, family member and friend who has lost their battle with cancer and in honour ofthose who continue to conquer it! Put this up for 1 hour if you love someone who has or had cancer. Many won't copy and paste this. I did. Will you?

* * *

i want you back sooo badly!!!!
             [i still love you]

                  i.k.
01/01/1986- 10/10/2010

wishing id be dead

im such stupid idiot for making biggest mistakes in my life! i make problems each time when i open my mouth. words have become my enemies - either i tell them or not... there is emptiness in me. extremely huge emptiness and unbearable pain.
i ask God forgive me all the sins i`ve made and to heal your wounds i`ve made...
i regret that im alive and that i caused such strong pain for the men i love the most in this world!