if it wud be so easy - to die!

i want to scream, but not a sound comes out of my mouth..
hot tears running over cheeks, and cold cold soul in frozen body..
pain...merciless pain fluttering heart over and over and over again..without a stop..
guilt, anger, regret and once again it all..and once again...
state of mind - razor... could i get one and get free of all?!
im too afraid. i love you too much!

my mind - a razor;
cutting veins of soul
and leaving it in snow
to bleed out.
left there for dogs of memories
heart which has stopped beating
but havent stopped feeling
and loving just you..
pain pulsing in the body..
pain pervading through
like tiny electrons..
hot passionate heart
filled with so much cold
perforated with sharp icicles
of your words.
it would be so easy to die.
and yet - you hold me back!