Living Out Loud

sometimes you forget and loose who you really are, just coz life makes some turn to let those things out of your sight and make you forget to take care about yourself in spiritual way. makes you stop growing!
and there comes something [if you are lucky to see and/or use it in good way] to change your life and give you wish to know who you really are!

*It's amazing, isn't it? The things you find yourself agreeing to?*

*I want to feel my life. I want to stop agreeing to things, I don't really want.*

if I let you go

Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can`t get you off my mind
Nobody knows ... I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can`t find
The courage to show ...
To letting you know ...
I`ve never felt so much love before
And once again I`m thinking about
Taking the easy way out ...

But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me
How will I know?
If I let you go ...

Night after night
I hear myself sayin`
Why can`t this feeling just fade away?
There`s no one like you ...
You speak to my heart...
It`s such a shame we`re worlds apart ...
I`m too shy to ask ...
I`m too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I`m thinking about
Taking the easy way out

hurts

 

hurts so much that i don`t know words to describe it. i don`t understand why god is doing this. hurts.

uz vietas

šķiet dzīvē ir iestājies tāds apnikums. tāda sajūta, ka esmu iesprūdusi kādā laika plūduma šaurajā ejā, bet dzīve tai pašā laikā spraucas un plūst cauri, man garām. vienas un tās pašas takas, kas iemītas jau dziļi zemēm. tādas sliedes, ka bail no nespējas tikt no tām ārā. iespējams man ir vajadzīgs pavasaris, enerģijas pieplūdums manās dzīslās. saule, zāle, zaļums un neSniegs apkārt! gribās, lai ir tik silti, lai var visu dienu sēdēt ārā! tā, lai vējš dabū ārā no galvas to smago apdulluma sajūtu it kā kāds kamols briestu galvā nemitīgi katru dienu.

gribās arī ko darīt, lai nevajadzētu lauzīt galvu par to, kā būs pēc mēneša vai diviem.

gribās mainīt tik daudz, bet nav spēka, nav iedvesmas. tikai bezgalīgs nogurums no nekā. viens no briesmīgākajiem nogurumiem.

es tik ļoti ilgojos! kaut vienu glāstu, skāvienu, skūpstu. buuu

30 seconds speech by Bryan Dyson – Former CEO of Coca Cola

 

Imagine this life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand the WORK is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – Family, Health, Friends and Spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.
Work efficiency during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends & have a proper rest.
Value has a value only if its value is valued.

12th march

its just one more day of the march. not springy day today. snow is falling again and there is no sun.  all is grey again.. just us couple days ago. liked the sun yesterday and day before. feeling like in spring. warmth, snow melting and even doesn`t matter that it was wet and there were puddles of water.. and wet feet.. but there was feeling that spring is about to start. and now again steps back to winter. grrr… my crocus in pot is still hiding as showing that spring is not ready yet to come. and i`m stubbornly waiting spring to come and my crocus to bloom!
sometimes seems that when outside is so grey, i need double strength to make my mood feel colorful!
there are just 2, ok maybe 3, days left to finish my university project. it needs to be pretty big and will be pretty tough, but well.. don`t have a choice. have to do it. how i hate my laziness and that i have to come over it and fight it each time! there would come out one bad bee from me! so i`m glad i`m just a human and not a bee :) there is always some thing to be happy about, no? lol! even if silly one :D
now back to my uni project! go go go!

right now music:  Sarah McLachlan - Angel
City of Angels!