to you, my angell!

i`ll keep you in my heart! you`ll be with me wherever i go...
i miss our talks.. i miss our chats.. i miss our laughs and time together...
i miss having you around and feel happy just seeing you there..beside...

wake up!

you have never ever before came so close to loosing me as you have now...
please, wake up and see what you are doing! please!

oh 7sein

i love you soo much and i miss you very badly!!!!!
and i cant any of this to you..... (u)

oh, my angel!!!

Why should I
Face up to
Another waking day
When there's a chance you'll come to me
In dreams

ceru, ka mums tā nesanāks, mans mīļais....

Viņa necieš sniegu. Viņš to dievina.
Viņa bija sapņotāja. Viņš neticēja pasakām.
Viņa mīlēja debesis. Viņš teica, ka tas ir banāli.
Viņai patika sēdēt naktī uz sola un skatīties zvaigznēs. Viņš labāk skatijās tv ekrānā.
Viņa domāja, ka vinš ir tas, kurš viņai vajadzīgs. Viņš uzskatija viņu par mazu meiteni.
Viņai viņš bija viss. Viņam viņa bija kārtējā rotaļlieta.
Viņa skuma. Viņš ironiski smaidija.
Viņa raudāja. Viņš klusēja.
Viņa cieta. Viņš tam nepieversa uzmanību.
Viņa nogura, gribēja mainīties. Viņš domāja, ka viņa tam ir par vāju.
Viņa bija arvien tālāka no viņa. Viņš negribēja to atzīt.
Viņa gandrīz aizmirsa viņa vārdu. Viņš sāka biežak domāt par viņu.
Viņa mainijās.
Viņa nesēdēja naktī uz soliņa un nesapņoja, jo viņa domāja, ka tas ir bērnišķīgi.
Viņa vairs nesmējās, jo teica ka tas ir naivi.
Viņa iemīlēja auksto sniegu.
Viņa pārvērtās par tādu, kādu gribēja viņš.
Bet viņam pietrūka tās mazās, sapņainās meitenes ar mirdzošo smaidu un mīlošām acīm.
Viņa skatijās uz viņu ar bezdomīgu skatienu.
Viņš saprata, ka viņa viņam ir pati svarīgākā.
Viņš gribēja viņu atgriezt.
Bet viņa vairs netic mīlestībai..

i dont belong...

you don`t know what you mean to me.
you are my home, my safe place, my shelter.. just you don`t realize that.
you are my family, my soulmate... just you have given` up on me.
you are my guiding star.. just you have hidden away.
i have nobody and nothing i belong to...
i have nothing and nobody to call mine...
i feel like stranger everywhere i go..
why i didn`t had enough brain not to make mistakes?
why i`m just a human and were allowed to loose you?
why you are not confident in our love and its power?
i`m lost.. i`m alone.. just question 'why?' circling around..

I Can't Help Myself

You smile a lot

It makes me wonder what your thinking of cuz...

baby your always on my mind

and right now i want you with me

here by my side

with me till the end of time

I just can't help myself i'm falling in love with you.

It doesnt matter what you say and what you do

just give me a chance

and i know i'll make you understand why...

I just cant help myself i'm falling in love with you.

Dont always find i should tell the world just how I'm

feeling it cuz...

i wanna be sure you feel the same

The more that i think about it

you need to know

there's no other way

no,no

I just cant help myself I'm falling in love with you.

It doesnt matter what you say or what you do

just give me a chance

and i know i'll make you understand why...

I just cant help myself i'm falling in love with you.

You must have been sent...

you must have been sent from heaven above

your everything i have been dreaming of

too good to be true

no no i dont think so

baby no

over and over again......

i keep on loving you! i keep on fighting!

Most people live life on the path we set for them. Too afraid to explore any other. But once in a while people like you come along who knock down all the obstacles we put in your way. People who realize free will is a gift, you’ll never know how to use until you fight for it. I think that’s The Chairman’s real plan. And maybe, one day, we won’t write the plan. You will. /Harry Mitchell/

maybe thats why i cant give up.. maybe thats why i`m running like with my head against the wall.. keep fighting... keep dreaming.. keep hoping... keep loving you...
why YOU always choose to give up and see just "STOP" signs everywhere?? why??

love you so much..

i want to shout in the world that i love you,
but i`m not allowed even to whisper it to you...

why??

why i need you soo much when you have stopped needing me at all?! :(
f***ing life...

im sorry...but i love you still

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong..

 thing is that im not out of love, love for you, my angel, is growing bigger each day.. maybe im just out of love towards me... but what is true from poem is that - IM SO LOST WITHOUT YOU AND I DONT KNOW WHAT AM I WITHOUT YOU!!!!! i still love you.... keeping inside..not outspoken.. burning inside!

i beg you

please don`t let me give up!
and please don`t push me to that... it would be the catastrophie!

monologue with you..

i haven`t heard from you for a day and haven`t talked for around 2.. and it already seems like ages!!!! i just miss you so much that i can`t describe!!!!!!!!!! and it hurts so much that you don`t feel the same..
wish i could tell you how much i miss you and need you, but i`m not allowed.. not to make you angry..
i`m sorry that i need you so bad!!!!!!

you...

when you decided to turn back on me and go away
you took everything from my life..
i have nothing..nothing at all.. and i have no idea why im still on this earth..

i just love you..silently..deeply..from all what i am and am not....

es tevi mīlu!

i can shout that i love you!
but you can not hear..
my mistakes and mat of lies
have made you deaf to what my soul really feels.

and i love you more than ever!
i love you till it hurts!
with each heartbeat  i fall deeper in you
i love you more with each breath...

i hurted you so badly..
and its my own fault that now
whenever my spirit gets little bit alive
you crash it, burn it and break it once again!

that all is just my fault..
i just wish you`d see how its all eating me..
how i`m slowly dying each second without you!
and my whisper that i love you remains unseen..
just like a tiny flower in the middle of dessert sands...

i love you... 7sein!

to my only angel!

you dont know that i fall in love with you more and more each day even now..and i cant tell you that!
i love you soo much and so strong! and i cant forgive myself for all the things i did to screw everything up!
i hate myself for each one of those things and i`d give anything to take them back, to take your pain away and fill you with my love towards you! i love you soo deeply with all what i am!

overthinking my world

when i think about my life it seems such an empty space. like a desert. of course with its oasis and its specific magic.
for some reasons have been made to think about my own death in almost touchable way. have some bad feeling about what is going on with me, even in just physical way. and that was one of reasons what made me look inside myself. it looks so empty, pointless... if i would die right now, people who would probably miss me could be countable on 2 hand fingers from which one hand would be family. the man i love might now even miss me. well.. for that im guilty myself..i know that..maybe it hurts so much because i think he wouldn`t miss me. maybe it doesnt matter that other people wouldnt, but it hurts that he would not. i wish he would love me the way he did, i wish he would care about me the way he did..i wish he would miss me the way he did. but i have blown it all!
im an idiot. and its an awful thought to die with. but maybe it would be better that way, coz then i wouldnt bother his life and nobody other`s life..
maybe i`m like a 5th wheel in this world, where nobody ever needs me.

to my love...

world is soo empty when you turn your back on me... and soul is soo cold, so lonely, so forgotten when i dont see your smile, dont hear your voice, cant feel your eyes and you beside me! all feels so pointless when you push me away.
i`ve sinned..im trying to be better. im changing.
in all uncertainties couple things are clear and strong - i love you and i`m always here when you need me!
even when you cant answer with the same...

my angel!

i miss my angel sooo badly!!!! i long for Him! <3