wishing id be dead

im such stupid idiot for making biggest mistakes in my life! i make problems each time when i open my mouth. words have become my enemies - either i tell them or not... there is emptiness in me. extremely huge emptiness and unbearable pain.
i ask God forgive me all the sins i`ve made and to heal your wounds i`ve made...
i regret that im alive and that i caused such strong pain for the men i love the most in this world!