rain & night & loneliness

love night, love rain and love wind! especially all put together!
sitting on the 4th floor windowsill at the opened window. letting wind touch my face and caress my skin. in those moments feeling alive. feeling alive as coldness sneaks through the veins all over the body. "Sometimes she feels so sad, Other times feels twice as bad". perfect music for a perfect sleepless night. one of hundreds.
feeling of freedom. feeling i cud fly if just id step of the windowsill . rain hitting ground, hitting leaves and hitting stretched palm outside. "Wish I, were different.But I'm a stranger in the world."
welcome to my night

I know him so well

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long.
Looking back I could have played it differently
Won a few more moments who can tell
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know I know him well

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness
He can't be mine?

But in the end he needs
A little bit more than me --
More security
I know him so well.

No one in your life is with you constantly
No one is completely on your side
And though I move my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide.

Looking back I could
Have played it differently
Learned about the man before I fell

But I was Ever so much
Younger then Now at least
I know I know him well

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness
He won't be mine?
Didn't I know
How it would go?
If I knew from the start
Why am I falling apart?

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness
He won't be mine?

But in the end he needs a
Little bit more than me --
More security
I know him so well

It took time to understand him

I know him so well

pain

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”

Desktop icons text background transparent

Control Panel / System / Advanced / Performance Tab / Settings Button and put a checkmark in: Use Drop Shadows for Icon Labels on the Desktop!

very useful for me!

Love & Marriage

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to
pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders..may be there is a bigger one later.

Then he saw another bigger one.. But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "..this is love.. You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.."

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the
teacher.

The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn.. You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get..
This is marriage."

Kelsey Grammer - Frasier

 "The mark of a man is one who knows he can' control his circumstances - but he can control his responses." [Kelsey Grammer]

Scream (Zac Efron)

The day door is closed,
The echo’s fill your soul.
They wont say which way to go,
Just trust your heart.

To find what you’re here for,
Open another door.
I’m not sure anymore.
It’s just so hard.

The voices in my head,
Tell me they know best!
Got me on the edge,
they’re pushin’, pushin’,
they’re pushin’

I know they got a plan,
While the balls in my hands!
This time its man-to-man,
I’m droppin’, fightin’, its time too.

Whole worlds upside down,its spining faster
What do I do now? Cause I choke!

I don’t know, where to go, what’s the right team?
I want my own thing. So bad I’m gonna Scream!
I can’t choose, so confused! What’s it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I’m gonna Scream!

I’m kickin’ down the walls.
I gotta make ‘em fall!
Just break through them all!
I’m pushin’, crashin’, I’m gonna
Fight to find myself,
Me and no one else!
Which way I get down, searchin’,
Searchin’, can’t find a
Road that I should take,
I should, tomorrow left us!
Like nothing works without you!

I don’t know, where to go, what’s the right team?
I want my own thing. So bad I’m gonna Scream!
I can’t choose, so confused! What’s it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I’m gonna Scream!

Yeah we’re cooks, running down,
hear the crowd gettin’ loud!
I’m consumed by the sound!
Is it hurt? Is it love?
can the music ever be enough?
Gotta work it out, gotta work it out!
You can do it, you can do it!

I don’t know, where to go, what’s the right team?
I want my own thing. So bad I’m gonna Scream!
I can’t choose, so confused! What’s it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I’m gonna Scream!

I don’t know, where to go, what’s the right team?
I want my own thing. I want my own thing!
I can’t choose, so confused! What’s it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I’m gonna Scream!

Ohh! Ahh!!!!

thunderstorm

i`m standing in the thunderstorm. first in this year. alone in the dark. thinking about you, myself and my life. feeling empty. and so very alone. rain mixing with tears. distant flashes of lightening and my thoughts. its warm, but i`m freezing. rain is so calm. tears are not. i long for you with all my being. never thought id miss you so much! having hurricane in me.

me

everybody always think and tell how strong girl i am, that i can handle anything and overcome anything! but im not just only very strong. im also very weak and vulnerable! i need somebody to hug me, protect me and make me feel safe. i need somebody to be there for me. but all think im too strong to be hold and being taken care of.

2 kinds of people

There's two kinds of people in this world when you boil it all down. You've got your 'talkers' and you've got your 'doers'. Most people are just talkers, all they got is talk. But when all is set and done, it's the doers who change this world. And when they do that, they change us. And that's why we never forget them... So which one are you? Do you just talk about it or do you stand up and do something about it? Because believe you me, all the rest of it is just coffee house bullshit.