Signs and notices

Found written on the wall in front of a photocopier of a company going through hardships : " DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE - XEROX YOUR PAYCHECKS "
Seen while traveling in the Yucatan Peninsula: "Broken English spoken perfectly"
Fitness Center sign: "Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself - regardless of the facts."
In restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."
A sign in front of an advertising agency in south superhighway, Philippines: "A BUSINESS WITH NO SIGN IS A SIGN OF NO BUSINESS"
On a ski lift in Taos, NM: 'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'
Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.
A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race: Let's see who can go downhill the fastest.