my 7sein!

my love, i miss you soo much!

pointless

its soo awfully hard.. even impossible to survive whole year long when i know i`m not gonna be living even for a month when i see him.. why to drag that stupid life when all is lost?! whats the point?!

in memory of the sister of my special person

October is cancer month. In memory of every cancer patient, family member and friend who has lost their battle with cancer and in honour ofthose who continue to conquer it! Put this up for 1 hour if you love someone who has or had cancer. Many won't copy and paste this. I did. Will you?

* * *

i want you back sooo badly!!!!
             [i still love you]

                  i.k.
01/01/1986- 10/10/2010

wishing id be dead

im such stupid idiot for making biggest mistakes in my life! i make problems each time when i open my mouth. words have become my enemies - either i tell them or not... there is emptiness in me. extremely huge emptiness and unbearable pain.
i ask God forgive me all the sins i`ve made and to heal your wounds i`ve made...
i regret that im alive and that i caused such strong pain for the men i love the most in this world!

welcome to hell

in couple steps of heart-attack - physical heartache constantly, insomnia and loss of appetite. plus have dilated pupils and palpitation.
well.. i`ve earned that.some coffee cups and direct one-way ticket on painful road to hell.

i hate myself

all physical heartache, all dullness and strong pain in head, all whirlpool and pain in stomach, all sleepless nights...... i`ve earned that all!
standing on chippings whats left of my world. nothing else matters.
to jump or not to?!

once again you and me... eventhough i`ve done awful things i still believe in this!

i know that we havent choosed the easiest way. its hard to be that far and live in different countries. its hard to go and live together somewhere, coz there are many things that we wud need to overcome. *love is not enough*! ofcourse nothing will happen on its own, we will need to work for that. and maybe work alot! but im sure that we can manage that! im sure about that! it wasnt our choice to fall in love with each other and discover that we are the other part of each other. that was fate! nobody told or promised us that it will be easy! but it will worth every thing we`ll make! future makes me afraid abit too! i dont know how we`ll manage all things, i dont know where and how to find a new job in some other country, how to get education and such things. i dont know that. and as every normal person im afraid of things i dont know. but im ready to fight! im ready to go for you no matter where! coz i wana be with you and i wana make you most happy man on the earth! and i know that you would make me most happy woman on whole planet! i just know that!
i felt that many times and very strongly few weeks ago!
we both are from fighters. and together we can win this fight! i`ll pray that we would have enough power, strength, hope and love to win the fight!
just believe! believe that we can everything together! coz we really really can! nothin can stop us!
we just need to believe and dream! its hard to make your dreams come true, but its not impossible! i love you! and you love me! i saw that in your eyes and felt in touch of your hand!
im not going to give up! there is no way back! there is just way in front of us!
i adore you!

Lionel Richie - Hello

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ...
I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ...
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you