sometimes you are an idiot and loose something that is dear and important to you..sometime you are such an idiot and you are afraid of things and you get afraid if what you are doing in right.. and sometimes you will not be given second chance and you will have to live with the choices you have made..
sometimes nothing can change how things are going on.. not hurting heart, not hurting eyes full of tears.. sometimes only way to make those pain seem smaller is to run with head in the wall or to cut something to make your body hurt more then soull hurts..
today i watched movie..with shooting and people dieing.. its just a movie.. and people who die there are actors.. but the worst is that somewhere its reality... there are places where people face death every day.. suppose just those people can appriciate and valuate what is the price of life..
and i hate myself that i so often forget about small things in my life that can make me smile.. and also for that, that im afraid to make some steps.. that im taking too much time and im hurting people with that..i hate myself coz im master of hurting my close people even if i dont wana that..
maybe there will be people who will read this and will think that i pity myself.. but i dont wana anybody come and tell that im nice and *bla bla* girl.. and that all is not so black as i paint it..
those are just my feelings and things inside my head.. and i have all rights to paint them in any color i wana..
just one bullet makes a border between life and death..
just one step on the rock makes border between life and death..
just one cut can take you over the border with no return back..
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