sucky me

today is really sucky day... day when you feel that nobody needs you. at least not a persons who you would like to wana and need you..
alone in whole world.. lost everything or almost everything that was close to your heart.. with no possibility to get that all back.. without possibility to make things good again and fix your mistakes..
feeling and looking soo sucky that girl whom you know almost all your life and had seen you just for 5 mins tell you to take care about yourself and that i need to sleep well.. feeling even more sucky then looking..
and the most irretating thing - there come customers and all men flirting with you.. as if im the most beautiful one.. even a chef told that im better then usually...

people find me better when im feeling the worst.. how sweet... maybe its better always be worse to make them feel happy and satisfied with me. maybe start to accept and enjoy things that hurt me?
chef told that im more nice to people and that its easy to see that i had had good rest.. my answer was that im just too tired of life to be unbearable with people...
i just cant bear that any more..